Let's Make a Deal or Not
by chatnoir1
Summary: Loki interrupts Nick Fury's breakfast with a proposal. Fury is not amused.


Let's Make a Deal or Not

A.N. I don't own the Loki of the comics or any other denizens of the Marvel Universe.

Loki, God of Mischief, Father of Lies and many other more or less unflattering titles, zeroed in on the man eating alone in one of the booths at the back of the mostly empty diner. Without bothering to ask permission, he slid into the booth across from the man and waited for him to make eye contact. The man continued to ignore him and focus on his omelette and hash browns.

"You vex me greatly, Nick Fury." Loki drummed his fingers on the tabletop. A waitress stopped to ask if he wanted anything and Loki ordered a cup of coffee and a piece of cherry pie.

"I'm not exactly fond of you either." Nick Fury added a bit more ketschup to his hash browns. "Because of you, I have to see Tony Stark more often than is good for my blood pressure." He looked up at Loki, his one dark eye piercing Loki's emerald ones, the force of his glare pinning the God to the back of the booth. "I should shoot you for that alone. All this because you have 'daddy issues'."

Loki was discomfitted by the glare and the stern manner of Fury's speech. Add in the eyepatch and beard and this was too reminescent of being lectured by Odin. Only quieter. Odin had a tendency to bellow. "I do not know what 'daddy issues' are, I'm afraid."

"Unresolved conflict with your adoptive father Odin."

"I see. Thank you for the clarification. You might want to add 'brother issues' as well." The waitress set a cup of coffee and slice of cherry pie in front of Loki. He added several spoonfuls of sugar to the coffee, tasted it and added a couple of more. He took a bite of pie and smiled in bliss. "Your realm hasn't many things going for it, but you do make an excellent pie. I'm not sure about the coffee, though."

"That explains the eight spoonfuls of sugar. Why are you here, disturbing my breakfast and laying the groundwork for some serious indigestion?"

Loki took another bite of pie. "It has occured to me that I may have been going about my conquest of Midgard all wrong. I've been using Thor's method of smash, smash again, then smash some more, until your opponent is dead or gives up. All that accomplishes in the end is dead potential subjects and lots of rubble. Who wants to rule that? I certainly don't."

"Do you have a point to make?"

"I do indeed. I have decided that a bit more study of your realm on my part might be beneficial for both sides. What I'm proposing is a truce. I won't commit any more acts of mass destruction and in return you will not send my brother or that green giant after me."

"And I should agree to this because you are so trust worthy?" The waitress topped off Fury's coffee.

"I'm not, as you well know. But there is a precedent in this realm of making truces with your enemies, even those you know you shouldn't trust. Treaties are made, broken and remade over and over. I'm merely asking for my chance."

"Give me minute to think about it. No."

Loki shrugged, "It's no more than I expected of you, but I thought I'd make the effort. You should be aware that with things becoming peaceful here, Odin will recall Thor back to Asgard. That leaves the green giant as my only true obstacle, and he's unstable at best. Come after me and I will take defensive action."

Nick Fury reached into an inner pocket of his jacket. "I don't like being threatened at any time, but especially when I'm trying to eat." He pulled out a small device as Loki rose and began his exit.

"What is that?" was all Loki managed to get out before the taser struck.

"Payback." Fury responded to the now unconscious Loki as he took out his cell phone. "Coulson. We have a situation at City Diner on Broadway. I just tasered Thor's little brother. Yes, I enjoyed it. I need a security team and Thor if you can find him." He looked over at the remainder of Loki's cherry pie and moved the plate over. "I'm going to get stuck with the tab anyway, might as well finish this."

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Thor looked down at his unconscious brother lying in the booth. "What did you do to my brother, Nick Fury?"

"I tasered him."

"Ah. Darcy did that to me shortly after I landed on Midgard. It was very unpleasant. I take it my brother was threatening you?"

"Not physically, but the intent was there. He was trying to negotiate a truce. I don't make truces with psychopathic brats with appetites for mass destruction." Fury finished his coffee. "I couldn't let him walk out of the diner and disappear."

Thor frowned. "I know my brother is difficult, but if he was seeking to negotiate a truce he should not have been harmed."

"I refer you to my previous statement about psychopathic brats." Fury turned his attention from Thor to the security team. "I don't care if he's just unconscious or on death's door, put restraints on him."

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They had unceremoniously dumped the still unconscious Loki on the floor of a S.H.I.E.L.D. holding cell. Thor had insisted that a cot be brought in for his brother. Now he stood keeping vigil, waiting for Loki to awaken. Thor was not happy with Nick Fury nor S.H.I.E.L.D. at present.

Loki moaned and opened his eyes. He felt like he'd just been hit by Mjölnir. He recognized the decor. He was once again a guest of S.H.I.E.L.D. He slowly sat up and noticed his brother standing guard.

"Damn."

"How are you brother?"

"I've been better. I take it there is no chance of having these restraints removed?" Thor shook his head. "I thought as much. And I'm not your brother."

"Not by blood, but we are family none the less. We have a lifetime of shared experiences that makes us brothers."

Exasperation tinged by amusement shone in Loki's eyes. "You are stubborn."

"Aye. As are you." Thor looked down at the floor briefly, then backup at his brother. "Were you, in truth, trying to negotiate a truce, and did you threaten Fury?"

"I was trying to negotiate a truce, though my intentions were not noble, I assure you. I still intend to take over this realm, but in a less destructive way. I did not threaten Fury, as such. I was there, he was there and he had the taser. I expect he enjoyed himself a great deal."

"What he did was not acceptable, nor honorable. I should take you back to Asgard, regardless of Father's thoughts on the matter."

Loki felt like banging his head against the wall. He had prepared for the possibility that his offer of a truce would be rejected and he might once again find himself a guest of S.H.I.E.L.D. Though the taser had been unexpected. He would have to pay Fury back in kind for that. Right now he needed his older brother out of the way. "I am fine, Thor. Go bellow at Fury and the rest of them. Do Father proud."

"I will try to convince Fury to remove the restaints."

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The images on the monitors became distorted, then righted themselves. Those agents pulling duty did a quick check and everything seemed normal. Loki was still in restraints and still in his cell. The presence of Nick Fury in the cell with him was nothing to raise an alarm about.

Loki looked up at Nick Fury and allowed himself a small smile. He could see one of his new protoges, Mikka Rasmussen, beneath the illusion of the glamour.. "Shall we go then?"

They were well away before Agent Phil Coulson checked in and was surprised to find out Nick Fury had managed to be in two places at once. He didn't look forward to telling Fury about it. Looked like the Trickster had won another round.


End file.
